Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
