To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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