We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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