She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
