Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
