Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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