Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
