So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
