To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
