This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
