I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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