i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
