That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
