38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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