well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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