Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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