is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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