Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
