Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
