can we get nightvision for the apartment?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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