i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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