Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
