i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
