the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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