I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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