dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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