ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her vagine was all disorganized.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
