He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
