I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
