Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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