C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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