I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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