Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Every concussion has its silver lining
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
