Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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