im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
