Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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