Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
