So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
