That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
