Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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