How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
