): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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