we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
