I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just high enough for therapy.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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