some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
