so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
