How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
