Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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