He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
