Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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